Sunday, March 20, 2005

Family Guy

Lois: You can't just pull the kids out of school to go to a baseball game!
Peter: There's nothing that they'll learn in school that they can't learn on the streets.
[On the street]
1: It's three o'clock. Where the hell is Louie?
2: Well, you tell me. Louie left his house at 2:15 and has to travel a distance of 6.2 miles at a rate of 5 miles per hour. What time will Louie arrive?
1: *strokes chin* It depends if he stops to see his ho.
2: That's what we call a variable.

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Brian: Oh please, Peter, your excuses are lamer than FDR's legs.