HAHA! Gotta Love Mrs. Schaub
At the end of everyone's summary, Nick goes "Then Taro got shot and died." or "Then Kiku got run over and died."
So after doing this for chapters 1-4, we get to 5, which is the chapter where Hana gets "probed" as the book says (Consumated to marriage as Quinn says). At the end of the chapter summary, after Scott yells out "THEY HAVE SEX", then Schaub goes "And then they got sick and died, which will happen to you too if you have sex, so DON'T DO IT!"
Tyler and I looked at each other for a second and then bust out laughing. it was the best thing Mrs. Schaub has done all year, besides saying that Ian couldn't use the phone to vote for someone other than Bush.